Sripping as Drag

I recently attended a workshop on the history of Drag by the incredible Marlena Dali in which they mentioned the ‘Shinjuku Boys’ in Japanese host culture. Also known as ‘Onnabes’ they are assigned female at birth (and many identify as female, although some do not) but present masculine in order to work at host clubs for female clients. Host clubs in Japan are a popular place for women to go and have a few drinks while having a flirty conversation with someone handsome, showering them with praise and affection. Marlena made a point that Onnabes in her opinion should be considered Drag Kings because they were playing with gender for entertainment purposes. Suddenly, something switched and I realised it was ok for me to present hyper femme at work and still identify as Non-Binary. 

My work persona is made up of parts of me that exaggerated and morphed into a way that I think is most beneficial to my hustle. As any good actor knows, it's very hard to play a role if you can't relate to the character or experiences they've had. The areas I exaggerate however, are the areas that I can take advantage of in a club context, which tend to be “feminine” parts of me. 

Often I blow these areas up to an almost comical point, because I find customers, especially when drunk, won't notice it if I'm subtle. Even though “Lilith the Stripper” is part of me, I would never ordinarily say, or even think of half the things she does. For example, on Boxing Day I had some amazing lines, which I genuinely don't know how I came up with, such as “Father Christmas doesn't come for a whole year, we can be as naughty as we like” or “Santa didn't come down my chimney, I wish you could instead.” These examples really highlight the performative nature of the way I play with gender for work and really validate me in feeling that when I’m at work I’m in Drag, even if I am wearing the same lingerie I wear in my personal life.

When any Sex Worker creates a “work persona” they are doing so to appeal to their target clientele.

This is often cis-gender males, and frequently includes things such as highlighting femininity or playing with the Madonna/Whore complex. This is all used to an advantage. And to some extent, all Sex Workers could consider themselves to be in Drag. Even if they identify as female, they are still playing with gender and their identity for entertainment purposes. 

The Emotional Toll 

Recognising my work persona as a form of Drag has hugely reduced the emotional toll and invalidation I sometimes feel being a Non-Binary person who presents very femme at work. 

That being said, it can be exhausting performing in a way that conflicts with a huge part of my identity. Some days when I’m feeling dysphoric, I can't think of anything worse. Because my Stripper persona draws a lot on the “real me”, my femme presentation at work can at times invalidate my gender identity. This means, I'm pretty much always questioning it.

I’m always reassuring myself that both gender and sexual identities are spectrums, and they're fluid. 

Work has also made it harder for me to express my gender identity in my vanilla life. This is because I rely so much on my appearance at work, that I don't really want to edit it. For example, with a more gender affirming haircut. I hear what you say, I could just wear a wig at work (and I know plenty of people who do), but in a similar way to how a Drag king/queen may just shave their eyebrows so they don't have to glue them back every performance, it's just easier to leave my hair as it is.

Getting changed after work, I feel a huge weight being lifted off me, in a way similar to getting out of a costume with a tight corset. I might not have noticed the difficulty beforehand, but I can definitely notice that I breathe much easier once out of it. 

There’s nothing more gender affirming for me than walking past a regular customer in my “normal” clothes. I quickly say, “bye” but they don’t recognise me - even if I'm still in my makeup, because I’m dressed in a more androgynous look.