Try to disengage with negative self-talk

Anyone who has had a class with me knows that this is a big deal in my classroom. Negative self-talk is so dangerous.

It disrupts your ability to focus on the task at hand, think clearly about your progress and appreciate the hard work your body is doing trying to comply with your strange commands to hook your knee on the bar/sling/pole! When we say things like “I’m not strong enough” or “I can’t do it” we deny ourselves the chance to try and keep trying. Nothing ever happens perfectly the first time. And sometimes it still doesn’t happen perfectly the 10th time we try – that doesn’t mean we can’t do it or we aren’t good enough to do it.

What’s interesting about negative self-talk is that sometimes it comes from a good place. Because we LOVE what we are creating through dance and apparatus SO MUCH, we want to be so good at it. We set high expectations about what we want to achieve and then, from time to time, fall short and blame ourselves for not being strong enough, good enough, flexible enough, flowy enough, etc. etc.

It’s not a bad thing to want to be good and to want to get better. But be kind to yourself. Recognise that coming to class is not about conquering lyra/pole/sling moves but about enjoying the time you have together. To move, dance and create with your apparatus and body. Next time you walk through the door at Sirens, commit to telling yourself at least three positive things throughout your class.

The power of Gratitude

At times, you might fall out of love. Or feel like your love for lyra/pole/sling/dance is unrequited. But don’t lose heart!

When I feel down about lyra, I try to practice gratitude. I name the things I’m grateful for and the journey that has brought me to this point. It doesn’t always work to be honest, but it does remind me that just because I feel out of love, that doesn’t mean all is lost.

I am grateful for my body that enacts my passion which brings joy to my life.

I am grateful for the community of friends, coaches and students who care about my lyra journey and want to see me succeed.

I am grateful for the hard-won skills I have and the coaches who have believed in me to achieve them.

I am grateful for an hour out of my day to train, regardless of how ‘productive’ I think it was.

Gratitude combats negativity by helping us to realise that we have achieved so much and often we are being too hard on ourselves. Even when it feels like you’re plateauing, not making progress or even going backwards: FORGIVE yourself.

Spread the love 

We all know how amazing it feels to receive love. It’s a special type of joy when someone recognises your hard work, appreciates your journey and encourages you. When I was a student (and still now too!) there were days when I wished someone would say something positive to me. We all have the power to give that feeling to others.

I’m sure we all know how to encourage others and give compliments, but do be thoughtful and aware when giving compliments in public settings. Make sure you are confident the other person would like to hear what you have to say and the manner in which you intend to say it. “That shape makes your butt look amazing!” is a very different vibe to “That shape really suits you!”.

These little encouragements or compliments can literally make someone else’s day. It could change someone’s perspective from giving up, to trying again. We can all be each other’s Siren Valentines!

On the flip side of that, if someone gives you a lovely compliment or encourages you, please try your very best ACCEPT IT. It can be really hard to accept compliments or encouragement when you feel down but this is all part of reducing negative self-talk and being grateful for your journey. Others care about your progress, they believe in you and they want to cheer you on. They see your love for lyra/pole/sling/dance and they want to encourage you to keep it up.

Next time you see someone do something amazing or watch an insta story and get that hint of jealousy, I challenge you to encourage that person and spread the love.