Words by Maya Hart | Photography by Mia Maraschino, Elixir Black & Suzy Lafosse
Content Warning: This blog discusses misogyny and violence against women in the Women’s Day and misogyny in the My Experience section. Skip to the Our Sirens section for a fun interview celebrating ourselves, each other, and the women we admire.
The 8th of March marks International Women’s Day - a day to celebrate the achievements and advocate for the rights of women and people affected by misogyny across the world. We have made astounding progress in women’s liberation in the past century, but there is still a lot of progress to be made. Misogyny still infiltrates our modern society - an experience that is especially compounded by racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism and whorephobia. We take time on this day to acknowledge these intersections and struggles - and commit to supporting and advocating for each other.
“On International Women’s Day we remember that as long as one woman faces discrimination, harassment, inequality or oppression, we all do.” - International Women’s Development Agency
This day was born out of necessity: spearheaded by women determined to fight for their rights and tired of social restraints. In 1911, the first Women's Day event has held, witnessing countless women across Europe protesting and meeting to discuss the feminist movement. The largest demonstration in the first year gathered over 30,000 women. Despite these early beginnings, International Women’s Day wasn’t officially adopted by the United Nations until 1977; 32 years after the inception of the UN.
Now globally recognised, International Women’s Day serves to remind us that the fight for equality is far from over. Our history was shaped with the blood, tears, struggles and triumphs of women and people affected by misogyny across the world - especially Black and Indigenous people, People of Colour, LGBTQIA+ and Queer people, Sex Workers and Trans Women. Our present continues to be shaped by these experiences.
Content Warning: this section discusses the history of International Women’s Day in the context of past and present misogyny, violence, sexual abuse, misogynoir and discrimination.
Why is it important to observe International Women’s Day?
Photograph by Carl Van Vechton: A black and white photograph of Zora Neale Hurston posing in a black hat, a beaded necklace and a dark sweater.
We need to ensure that our feminism is intersectional - acknowledging that the experience of misogyny is influenced, and often amplified, by overlapping identities - or it is worthless. Historically, women of colour, especially Black women, have been excluded from IWD - their contributions towards equality erased and their experiences diminished. It is our social responsibility to actively question our biases, make space for, listen to, and support people of colour affected by misogyny within this movement. Today, I want to briefly discuss a Black woman who recognised the compounded discriminations against her identities, and worked to demonstrate this to others.
The Harlem Renaissance was a period of time from the 1910s to 1930s that witnessed Black culture flourish and grow in the form of art, music, literature and stage performance. One influential figure from the Harlem Renaissance is Zora Neale Hurston (pictured right) - an anthropologist, folklorist and filmmaker. In 1937, at age 46, she published her novel The Eyes Were Watching God that delved into gender roles, women’s liberation and the experience of living in the American South as a Black woman.
Misogyny is not a thing of the past - it continues to underline Australian culture and society. According to the Australian Human Right’s Commission, 1 in 3 women in Australia have or will experience intimate partner violence, and 1 in 5 women in Australia have experienced sexual violence since the age of 15. These risk factors are compounded by different intersectionalities. A study conducted by Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety revealed that trans women from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds are almost 20% more likely to experience multiple incidents of sexual harassment, and 10 times more likely to be sexually assaulted. It is confronting information; but it is not something that we can ignore.
Australia has a problem with harassing, assaulting and murdering women, especially women with intersecting identities.
International Women’s Day isn’t just a day of mourning and gratitude to the trailblazers before us, it is a commitment to ourselves, and everyone else that we will recognise and celebrate the achievements of women across the world. Our achievements are often diminished; we are told that we only achieved it by offering sexual favours, we are told that it isn’t enough, we are criticised when we do not assume traditional household roles, and we are told to be humble to preserve the bruised ego of a man who cannot handle the success of women. Our achievements deserve a celebration. We deserve to feel proud of how far we have come, regardless of how much of the journey is yet to come.
Ultimately, this purpose of today is to spread awareness, commit to advocacy and supporting each other, and celebrating the achievements of ourselves and others.
So, what can we do about it?
Spread awareness of issues still present to this day
Support each other
Highlight and hype up each other’s achievements
Understand that people with multiple intersecting identities have a unique experience with misogyny. Listen to and amplify these voices.
We all recognise the impact of horrifically blatant acts of sexism, but society often forgets that the very nature of systemic oppression and discrimination is insidious; it infiltrates society’s values, norms and expectations of women and people affected by misogyny. It has become casual, cultural and all too common.
A lot of the time we are told we have to be “good” women in order to gain respect and be taken seriously. We need to be well-spoken, modest, cis, straight, sexually attractive but not sexual. That’s bullshit - respect is a fundamental human right, and we will demand it. We will do whatever we want with our bodies.
As a femme non-binary person that is socially perceived as a woman, I still experience sexism and misogyny. These experiences are compounded by my Queer, Disabled identity.
I am studying a science-based degree at university, and I have had a complicated relationship with academia and my adjacency to womanhood. In scientific communities, women and feminine people are expected to tone down their femininity in order to be taken seriously. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to say “no, I am right” or “I am not finished speaking” to a male peer. Any expression of femininity can be twisted into an admission of incompetence and stupidity. This absolutely comes from a societal norm that outward expressions of femininity are intrinsically demonstrations of unintelligence; an attribute you need to separate yourself from as if “pretty” and “smart” are mutually exclusive categories.
I love to use fashion as a tool to express myself and my Queer identity. On my feminine days, I love wearing baby pink clothes with pretty pink makeup to match. I also love my degree; I am passionate about wildlife health and disease and I am deeply fascinated by veterinary pathogenesis. I know that I am good at what I do. I work hard in a field that I am passionate about, and on my masculine-presenting days, I see my contributions valued by my peers. On my feminine-presenting days, I am fighting for my place at the table in a sea of men willing to discount my knowledge and experience based on the clothes that I wear. How do I go from being a top student to a silly little girl just by wearing pink?
When you reduce our worth to the clothes that we wear, the shape and a capabilities of our bodies, or the jobs that we do, you are reducing us to an object. Worth cannot be given or taken away - it is an intrinsic part of life itself. I exist, therefore I am worthy.
As an AFAB disabled person, I experience medical misogyny. I have had a doctor tell me for years that I was exaggerating my symptoms, that it simply wasn’t possible and “have you considered that you’re just anxious?” - only to require a cecostomy as an adult with an untreated bowel disease. I’ve been labelled anxious, hysterical and attention-seeking for asking for medical care. This is an all too common experience for disabled women, AFAB and transfeminine patients.
Over time, I have become more comfortable with my adjacency to womanhood and feminine expression by addressing my internalised biases. I now embrace my femininity for what it is. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel powerful. It reminds me that my body is my own; I am the designer of my customisable avatar. I used to be so uncomfortable with my body ( I attended my first term at Sky Sirens wearing basketball shorts!), but over time, I became more comfortable taking up space.
I have a right to be here, to make noise, to wear what I want, to wear nothing at all, and to take up space. So do you. What you do with your body is in your hands.
Keeping to the 2021 theme, I interviewed the wonderful Sirens to learn about their achievements and women that they admire.
Katia
What achievement are you proud of?
Being proud of myself is the one thing that I struggle with the most. I have a filter that I put onto everything in my life that says, “I’m not good enough”. While this mentality can be a great strength for me, as its made me extremely hard working and driven - it’s also my greatest weakness. I always feel this sense of not being satisfied, or that I haven’t done something perfectly. I also think as women we are told not to highlight our achievements as it’s seen as boasting. I live in constant fear of appearing too confident, or a fraud - which doesn’t motivate me to break down my filter of not being enough. I’ve had a think about some achievements that I am most proud of for this project, and although it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable to say them - I’m going to try to be kind to myself:
I opened Sky Sirens by myself when I was only 25 years old, with no money and no experience.
I pioneered the Sky Sirens way of teaching aerials: one person per hoop, learning technique and routines.
I also pioneered the teaching of erotic aerial classes with sexy low hoop and was one of the first to combine stripper heels and circus.
I accepted my hearing loss and learnt Auslan.
I learnt how to say ‘no’.
I can wear singlet tops without worrying about looking too muscly.
I’m at a professional level of dancing, something I never thought was possible as I have no dance background.
My tomato plants are alive and are growing fruit.
“I pioneered the teaching of erotic aerial classes with sexy low hoop and was one of the first to combine stripper heels and circus.” - Katia
Bolly
How do you challenge gender biases?
Being fierce, rebelling and resisting in all spaces is a way to challenge gender bias. A lot of people have stereotypes about South Asian women that are just wrong. I want to be part of the movement that re-casts women of colour as leaders of our collective emancipation.
Maddie
Who is a strong woman that you look up to?
Jessica Megan (jess_megan_ on insta) is a really cool influencer/model who uses her huge platform for actual good. She backs herself 100% always and I just really admire that. She is not afraid to speak out about so many intersectional feminist issues like menstruation, fat phobia, sex and female pleasure, discrimination against sex workers, trans and non binary rights... she is just so empowering and all her posts on her social media are so poignant and spot on.
Elixir
What achievement are you proud of?
For myself, personally I'm very proud that I've managed to make a name for myself in the modelling world and get booked and published despite not fitting the societal norms of how a model "should be" I'm only 5'5 and quite curvaceous. I've been told I'm too short, "not a small enough weight" too tattooed, etc to be booked by agencies. I do all of my own styling, concepts, hair and makeup for my shoots. I started my journey as a way to push through my own self-doubts as a way to learn how to learn to love myself.
“I want to be part of the movement that re-casts women of colour as leaders of our collective emancipation.” - Bolly
Farrah
What achievement are you proud of?
I'm very proud of simply pursuing dance as an adult! During my childhood and early teen years I perceived all femininity - including my own - as inherently weak and I fiercely rejected it, thanks to some very deeply rooted internalised misogyny that I am still in the process of weeding out from my psyche. Anything that was coded femme - Barbie dolls, dresses, the colour pink, pop music, dance classes - was complete anathema to me. I vividly remember at six years old being enrolled in ballet classes, and the tantrums that I would throw as my well intentioned mum forced me into my tiny pink tutu and tights once a week after kindergarten. While the other little girls delighted in twirling around and pretending to be fairies, I planted myself in the middle of the floor, grumpily hugging my knees to my chest, and insisted that I wasn't a fairy, I was a toadstool, and they would have to dance around me. There was no way I was going to be anything so frivolous and girly as a fairy! All I wanted to do was go outside and play in the mud with my toy dinosaurs, and because I was already so indoctrinated by the gender binary, I didn't understand that I could be a girl who enjoyed dancing AND playing with dinosaurs. So I spent much of my childhood staunchly avoiding dancing and anything else that I decided was too 'feminine'.
In my early teens I got involved in musical theatre, which necessitated a small degree of dancing, but I justified this requirement with the fact that I was just playing a character, and therefore it wasn't me dancing or being demonstratively femme. After high school I went on to study musical theatre in London, where at least four hours of each day was taken up by compulsory intermediate to advanced level dance classes - ballet, jazz, and tap - and my total lack of prior experience quickly obliterated my self confidence, despite excelling in the singing and acting classes I was also taking. Professional dance teachers (outside of Sky Sirens!) can be notoriously hard task masters with the mentality of 'break them down to build them up', and on one particularly memorable day I left the studio in floods of angry tears after the ballet teacher screamed at me in front of all my peers that I would never be a dancer and I should give up any hope of ever being on stage then and there. I almost did. I left that college with a reinforced grudge against all forms of dance and fully determined that I would never attempt it again.
A few years later, I returned to my native Sydney and was looking for a new hobby, something physical and more dynamic than the yoga classes I was already taking... After some online searching, I kept coming back to pole dancing. The idea of dancing with an apparatus seemed more gymnastic and less starkly intimidating than having to simply rely on my uncoordinated body, and already being immersed in and fascinated by the erotic world it seemed like a natural progression. So I took a deep breath, hid away my nerves, and attended my first pole lesson at Sky Sirens with Arizona - without even realising that I was taking a life changing step. During my first few terms, the instructors and the other students that I met at Sky Sirens truly overturned all of my preconceptions about dancing and dancers. They proved to me that dance is for everybody, and that it can be taught with compassion and good humour and tailored to fit anyone, regardless of their prior experiences or confidence level. Now I feel confident when I dance, and much more confident in myself; I've learned how to move my body and present myself on stage in a purely physical way without feeling the need to hide behind a script or a character. If I hadn't had the courage to push myself out of my comfort zone and enroll at Sky Sirens I would probably still be stuck thinking that dancing isn't for me, it's only for "girly girls", and you can't learn that sort of thing as an adult anyway. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Today I am so proud to be a part of the Sky Sirens community, and proud that every week I am slowly finding my own personal style of dance, which more often than not exaggerates, emphasises, and embraces the femininity that for so many years made me feel unhappy and uncomfortable within myself.
“Today I am so proud to be a part of the Sky Sirens community, and proud that every week I am slowly finding my own personal style of dance, which more often than not exaggerates, emphasises, and embraces the femininity that for so many years made me feel unhappy and uncomfortable within myself.” - Farrah
Bronte
How do you challenge gender biases?
I’ve worked with children and young people for most of my adult life and I like to use every question I’m asked about my gender, body or facial hair as a teaching experience. kids have begged me to be a bearded lady, been offended when they thought I’d deceived them (and been a man the whole time) and enjoyed stroking my leg hair. when i first started letting my facial and body hair grow out, I felt confronted and upset by these comments. but as i grew into my hair and identity, i found it funny and a great way to introduce these ideas in a playful way. it’s so important for kids to be exposed to different bodies and ways of expressing gender, because there’s so many ways to be.
Indy
What is an achievement that you are proud of?
I am proud of myself for continuing my aerial training through poor mental health as a form of personal therapy and turning my passion into a career.
Suzy
Who is a strong women that you look up to?
The women that I look up to are my closest friends. I'm constantly inspired by the way they each strive to achieve their completely individual dreams and goals. I also find the way we are able to open up to each other about our struggles, big and small, and support each other's differences very inspiring. I think women in general have great strength, and I have seen it in my friends when they take on the mental load of their family and households while still finding time for everything they need to do in their own lives.
“It’s so important for kids to be exposed to different bodies and ways of expressing gender, because there’s so many ways to be.” - Bronte
Maya
What achievement are you proud of?
As a Deaf & Disabled person, I struggle to feel proud of myself as I always feel like I have to prove my capability and my worth to the people around me. I am working hard on learning how to accept and celebrate my own achievements without comparing them to my peers.
I am proud of myself for pursuing my dreams in animal disease and wildlife conservation. Earlier this year, I went to Dubbo to participate in a Bilby Breed & Release conservation program. As a Deaf and Disabled student, I had to fight for my right to be included on the trip - and I proved to everyone, including myself, that I am more than capable of contributing to wildlife conservation.
At the end of 2020, I started a new role at Sky Sirens: Inclusivity & Accessibility Coordinator. I feel like I have found my niche; I am so passionate about the work that I am doing, and because of that, I am working hard. I am really proud of the work I am producing, and for the new skills that I am learning.
Nicoletta
How do you challenge gender biases?
Since being pregnant I’ve noticed sooo much gender bias! I get a lot of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing - like I shouldn’t be poling but ‘a few wines are ok’ or asking how much weight I’ve put on or suggesting I wear baggy dresses or even assuming I might not be able to do my job as efficiently because of ‘baby brain’!
So recently I’ve been challenging all of that by sticking to what makes me happy and what I’m comfortable doing! I’m loving teaching & training pole still - it’s done wonders for my hormonal brain and has kept me active, and I’m so grateful to be part of such an amazing supportive community like Sky Sirens who have never treated me differently because of being pregnant and have trusted me to make my own choices about what I can & can’t do. I’ve been wearing form-fitting clothes that show off my bump and make me feel beautiful, rather than tone myself down to what’s seen as more socially acceptable. I’m also planning to go back to work while my male partner stays home with our child, which even in these times is challenging for people to respect! It’s been a bit of a journey so far and I’m sure there’ll be plenty more hurdles as a mother once my bub is born!
“I’ve been wearing form-fitting clothes that show off my bump and make me feel beautiful, rather than tone myself down to what’s seen as more socially acceptable.” - Nicoletta
Mia
Who is a strong woman that you look up to?
One of the most important strong women I look up to in my life is my wife, best friend, and occasional Siren teacher, Maz! We had the privilege of living with each other for quite some time, and have only recently moved apart - I miss coming home to her every day. Maz is so kind & caring to her loved ones, as well as her students, and everyone who meets her is in awe of her hilarious bubbly nature. She is endlessly positive through adversity, and I am always inspired by her constant drive and motivation. She takes the time to listen to you, make you laugh, and support or cheer you on whenever you need it. I am endlessly grateful for her friendship and presence in my life, and feel so blessed to know her!
Nikki
What achievement are you proud of?
An achievement that I am proud of is replacing that negative feeling I used to have towards my broad shoulders and bulky arms and accepting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to do what I do today and being proud of the strength that my arms can carry and pull my whole body in the air. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Wednesday
How do you challenge gender biases?
I challenge gender bias in my classes and life by living by my own definition of what “femininity” is. I identify as she/her, but my concept of what that looks like is very different to what most people would typically call feminine. My appearance for example is not especially delicate, soft or “pretty”, and my attitude in the way I take up space professionally and personally is not meek or apologetic. My personal version of femininity challenges the traditional idea of “femme” by showing that masculine traits can be femme, and femme traits can be masculine. While I am she/her, my ideas about what define that pronoun are fluid.
“My personal version of femininity challenges the traditional idea of “femme” by showing that masculine traits can be femme, and femme traits can be masculine.” - Wednesday
Thank you
Thank you to the Sky Sirens community for nurturing such a safe, supportive environment that encourages self-determination and doing what makes you feel empowered! Take the time today to appreciate the wonderful women in your life (including yourself if that applies to you!). You are a part of what makes our community so great.
