Words by Bettie Bang Bang | Photography by Mia Maraschino
In a world where we are spoon fed images of photoshopped bodies and pressured to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves, it’s sometimes hard to accept our own bodies for what they are. Sure, the multiple social media platforms that we have access to are embracing more shapes and sizes than they ever have before, but why do we still sometimes feel that we’re not enough? Why do we still judge ourselves so harshly?
Ever since a young age I was a big kid, and my size followed me all the way through high school. Unfortunately kids can be quiet mean, and I vividly remember being teased for my weight. Funny thing is, I never thought less of myself for being a bit heavier than most kids in my grade, until the teasing became super harsh and it started to really effect me. I began to look at my body in a different way, and had feelings of shame and worthlessness as the result of the mean and cruel things I was told about how I looked. I thought I needed to be thinner, look prettier, have more interest in sports and athletics…the list goes on - and if you’re told something long enough, you start to believe it.
In Year 10 I started to bandage my upper arms, waist and upper thighs with medical bandages to make them look smaller. These were the parts of my body that were usually the focus for the bullies, so I took as many measures as I could to make them smaller and unnoticeable. I made sure those bandages were tight, which definitely made parts of my body look smaller, but they really hurt. I wore those bandages for the six hours a day I was at school for almost a year and a half. They made my skin super sweaty and sometimes I felt faint, but I thought it was worth it because I looked smaller than I actually was.
Fast forward thirteen years, and after countless diets, multiple gym memberships and an annual New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, I’ve learnt some things. I’ve been able to come to terms with a lot of my self image issues and body hang-ups, and because of this, I want to share some thoughts with you that may allow you to accept yourself a little more:
That’s right. You’re perfect. In every way possible. You see, you may think that you need to look a certain way, or be a certain size or shape to be validated as a person, to feel valued, to feel attractive…but the fact that you are the only you in the whole universe makes you absolutely perfect. You are a damn miracle my friend, and I am so glad I get to exist at the same time as you.
Most of us do this EVERY DAY. I can hand on my heart say that I have done this so many times - with my fitness, my dancing, my performances, etc. I’ve compared myself to others and always find myself coming up short in comparison to the person Im judging myself against. We place ridiculously huge expectations on ourselves to be the best, get the great gigs, do all the fun stuff - but if we compare ourselves to others, we will always feel less than. A good friend once said to me ‘Why do you compare yourself to that person? It’s like a rose comparing itself to a Lily. They’re two completely different flowers that bloom at different speeds, require different amounts of sunshine and water and have completely different colours and smells. Why compare two things that are so different and so unique?’And honestly, I have never heard more profound advice!
Ever found yourself looking into the mirror and really not liking what you’re seeing? Sure you have, we all have. We tend to be cruel to our bodies more often that appreciating how amazing they are. Your body has gotten you through life from the moment it was formed to this very point. You’ve endured scratches, bruises, maybe even breaks and fractures, yet here you are. In all your glory. Your body is magnificent. It’s a damn miracle. Sure you might have put on a few more kilos than intended, or you’re not as fit as you would like; but look at you. You are here, you are seen, you are wonderful.
Trust me, I’ve also had those really dark times where I’ve felt like the most unattractive person on earth. I have no idea what sets that thought off in my head, but when it happens, it really happens. The world around us tells us to judge someone’s beauty by their weight, shape, size, age, etc, when really what they SHOULD be telling us is that no matter what weight, shape, size, age etc a person is, they are beautiful. Beautiful without limits. Beautiful without boundaries. Beautiful without conditions. Do me a favour - the next time you don’t feel great about how you look, I want you to look in the mirror at home and pick one thing about your physical features that you like. The next day pick another thing, and so on. When we focus on ourselves for who and what we are, we tend to do away with what the world expects of us, and just see ourselves for the beautiful, strong, powerful humans that are looking back at us in our reflection.
We are all wonderful and talented and beautiful in our own ways. We all have so much to offer the world, and all we need to do to fully unlock our potential is to love and accept ourselves for who we are. Being both a student and an instructor at Sky Sirens, I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many of the wonderful people that pass through the studio. We all think of it as not only a dance studio, but a safe place, a refuge, a fantasy world and a hub for creativity. Here you are accepted for who you are, loved unconditionally and encouraged to reach those goals you dream of. So go forth beautiful Sirens, and show the world just how magnificent you really are.